How to properly say "Thank You"

There are actually four (4) ways of saying "thank you". If you didn't know that, you're probably saying "thank you" incorrectly.

Method 5: Saying "Thank you for everything."

This is the absolute worst way of saying "thank you". NEVER do this! You sound lazy.

Method 4: Saying "Thank you."

Not as bad as method 4, but this doesn't do you any favours.

Method 3: Saying "Thank you for [object]."

Thank you for the money. Thank you for the date. Thank you for the blowjob.

Better than the previous two methods, but there are better ways.

Method 2: Saying "Thank you for doing..."

You can substitute any verb for the word "doing".

Thank you for doing the dishes. Thank you for mowing the lawn. Thank you for preparing the lighter fluid.

Second best way.

Method 1: Saying "Thank you for being..."

Thank you for being the most wonderful wife any man can have. Thank you for being such an inspirational boss.

The absolute best way to say "Thank you".

Don't believe me. Okay, I'm going to thank you for reading my post here. Which one do you like best?

"Thank you for your attention."

or

"Thank you for reading my post."

Let me try one more

"Thank you for being such a loyal follower."

Just for fun, how do you feel about this one:

"Thank you for everything."

Try thanking people for doing and being. You'll notice a difference in the way others treat you.