How to communicate like a pro.

The purpose of junior communication is the transfer of data.

The purpose of senior communication is love and the creation of intimacy.

If you don't really care about the person you're talking to, then disregard the rest of this post.

If you care about the person you're speaking to, and you want to have a closer relationship with them (make or keep them as a friend, sign them on as a client, date them, etc.), here are some rules to keep in mind:

Rule 1: I speak to you.

Never, ever refer to yourself as "you", "we", "us", "some people", etc. I used to do this all the time. I used to say things such as: "You know how when you do this, that happens?" Start saying "I did this, and that happens".

You can't call yourself a "we", you're just one person. You can't speak for anyone else.

I know it's awkward, but once you start getting into the habit, you'll sound a lot more professional.

Rule 2: Ask unfoldment questions.

You probably learnt the concept of open and closed questions in school. You probably also learnt that open questions are better to start a conversation than closed questions.

But the best way to start a conversation: Unfoldment questions.

An unfoldment question is where the question you ask has the word "most" in it, or has a word that ends in "est". For example:

- What did you like most about your vacation?

- Which comedian do you think is the funniest?